More Songs About Me

So here comes another "creative" blog post. About, you guessed it, music!

So the other day I'm on the treadmill and a song written by my oldest brother comes on, and I can swear that it was written from the perspective of someone else, about me. And yet, I can hear his voice singing it. It is so confusing. So I posted a link to a very old version of it, just listen. All that flying away crap I love. (#3)
http://archive.org/details/rrnrlove2004-06-07

Then I come home and decide to put on some archives from the last concert my brothers did together (while I was in Albania) and this song comes on (#14: Lost):
http://archive.org/details/DCAF2012-10-27

My brother wrote this song while he was living in Honduras. I always forget that he did this, and that we have this connection of our living abroad experiences. Lets just say it made my thoughts lost in Minnesota.

"Now I'm staring at Jakarta on this starless, smoggy Tuesday night.
There's so much here you would like to see.
We could sit and talk for hours about how no one really seems to understand,
But then again, neither do we."

Yeah I did a little re-write there. Anyway I'm sitting here reading my book and come across this information about Buddhism:

"Here you've got your mind, the source of all your problems, but also the source of you liberation. Use it. Look at your life. Figure it out."
"'Buddhism requires that I take on the terrifying responsibility for myself; I am the author of my own suffering, and my own deliverance. And yet it also requires very little--only that I open my eyes right here, where I am standing, that I simply pay attention."
- Beyond the Sky and the Earth, page 240- 241

Agh! Why is my mind lost in Minnesota? I'm here in wonderful Jakarta and I just want to be here. There is so much to experience, but I miss my old experiences. I seriously need to quit living in the past. It was fantastic, but this is FANTASTIC!

So here's the thing for anyone still reading this rambling thing that probably doesn't count as writing. I'm not homesick. I'm not looking at plane tickets, I'm not crying, and I'm not considering backing out of my contract or my plan to do this traveling thing for a long time. I swear to god I'm fine, and I'm perfectly happy here. But I'm not all here, and maybe that sucks, but maybe it is also okay. Opinions? Will my heart really always be in Minnesota? Yes, and part of it will always be in Albania. And now part of it will always be in Jakarta. And what a fricken awesome realization. And did my brother write these songs years ago with some secret message to the future me? I'm over analyzing everything. Time for a beer and bed. Also, Angie can't believe I'm having a beer. Who did I become? A girl who doesn't drink beer every night?

Playlist

So I wanted to begin writing some more “creative” blog posts, and this will be my first completely random attempt. I offer you a play list from a small portion of my journey home from Bandung (with commentary):

Cannonball by Damien Rice

The Monday before our trip I came across a Damien Rice song while I was running, and then I had to listen to the whole damn album that night. It’s been awhile. Damien is one of those sad/happy music experiences for me. It’s all about my mood. Right now, happy. This is actually probably one of my favorite songs ever.

Sing Me back Home by Merle Haggard

This one made me miss home a little. Music is always something that calls me back home, but it also makes me feel like I can make other places my home. It’s strange. Then I started thinking about the memories behind songs and how essential music is in everyone’s life. Don’t even argue with me on this one.

To Be Young- Ryan Adams

I love dancing to this song. It's one of those fast songs that is actually sad. Those are my favorite. There is just something so truthful in the lyrics. To be young is to be sad.  

Somewhere North- Caedmon’s call

My brother and his wife made a wedding mix to hand out to all the guests at their wedding. This song was on there. The version on my iPod is actually sang by my brother. This song made me wish I had something more, relationship wise. I’ve been having some serious insecurities recently as I’m coming up on almost 2 years of being single. I know being single has its benefits. I’m loving every second of discovering myself as a single gal, and I don’t have time for a relationship, but something in me is craving some sort of romantic (if that’s the right word for it?) connection. I'm worried that when I do get around to a relationship it will have been so long that I will be completely lost about how to deal with it. Also my mind is definitely somewhere north of here. Like maybe somewhere colder.

The Fear You Won’t Fall by Joshua Radin

I think this was one of the songs sung at my prom? For sure a song from my past. It came on and I just couldn’t skip it. Don’t ask.

Buggin’ by the Flaming Lips

Quite the contrast from the last one. Seems like a good song to describe the mosquitoes in Jakarta. “The buzz of love is busy buggin’ you” Oh, the lyrics are absolute perfection. I’ve seen this band live 3 times, but I don’t think I’ve ever see them play this song. Ah well…

Sweet Disposition by the Temper Trap

Everyone thinks this is the song my tattoo is based off of. It isn’t, but I do enjoy this song. “Oh reckless abandon, like no one is watching you.”

Purple Rain by Prince

*for some reason it won't let me post anything but prince tribute bands versions. Not going to bother with that crap.*

This song has some history behind it. On my boyfriends prom night (back like 7 years ago) we watched the movie purple rain and I hated it. He loved the song and I hated it though all our years of dating. Then one day I really listened to the song and I fell in love with it.

In My Hour of Darkness- Gram Parsons, Emmylou Harris

This song! From the Roses, and absolutely incredible. After it played I knew I had to just shut my iPod off for awhile and process it.

By the time I arrived home after being stuck in traffic for many, many hours I was so frustrated and homesick. I wrote a very upset facebook post to which one of my friends responded by sending me a song. Music is my serious outlet and I’m not sure how I would survive anything without it. This song has become my mantra in the last few weeks, and so even though I didn’t listen to it on the trip home I feel it is necessary to post it.

Keep Pumpin'!

Missing Fall

I'm sick, and thus I'm in desperate need of venting about what I miss from home:

My mom's homemade chicken noodle soup with mashed potatoes
My brother's homemade chili
Campfires
cool nights/wearing sweaters
The mountains
the woods
Whiskey
Good Beer (IPA, Stout, Chimay, Paulaner)
Red Wine
Biscuits and Gravy
fresh air
laying in grass
the sound of leaves crunching under my feet while I run outside.
pumpkin baked goods
boots/sweaters

Oh my...I think I'm missing fall.

"Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns."- George Eliot

De Ranch

This weekend I was lucky enough to get a chance to get out of the city. We headed to Bandung (another big city) to go horseback riding. 7 of us went and we managed to rent a car and driver, and pay for gas for a total of $10 each. The trip was squished, but we made the best of it.

It wasn’t at all what I expected, but it was still a good experience and I’m totally glad I went. I expected an actual ranch with lots of wide open space outside of the city, but it turned out the ranch was a small piece of land in the city, with a bunch of tourists and Indonesians. There were pony rides, wall climbing, and an archery area. 4 of us decided to head on the hour long horse ride, and the other 3 wanted to do the 2 hour tour. They only had 4 horses available for the tours so we had to take turns on the horses. The 1 hour group headed out first. The guides taught me how to hold on to the reigns, how to lean depending on how we were moving, and how to kick the horse so it would trot. The few commons words we could say were “come on!” “trot” and “sini” (which means here) which he used to motion where to put my hands and legs. Other than that we had no language in common.

The 3 teachers on the horses

The guides took us through the village and the whole time we were being yelled after by cute kids and old men. “Hello Miss!” I felt like a celebrity the whole time, which is starting to become a common feeling here. At one point a van driver held out his blackberry to get a photo of us. I wonder how many random facebook walls I’m posted on: “Look at these crazy Boleh!”

natural right?

Once we got back it was the other groups turn and we sat down to enjoy some “brownies and ice cream” which was really chocolate bread with ice cream and warmed up chocolate sauce. I tried to enjoy it, even though the “brownie” part was gross. Then we walked around to try and find something to do, but we were mostly just bored. 

Exploring

Dustin noticed a ton of people taking pictures, and he decided to take his own pictures as well. What ensued was pictures with trash cans, the bathroom sign, and pictures of him sniffing flowers. We played some games involving singing, and tried to take some naps on the table. When the other group finally got back we grabbed a quick bite to eat and hit the road in hopes of beating the traffic. 

one of the "we are really bored" pictures

Everyone was super tired, so we all attempted to sleep, but to be completely honest no one could get comfortable enough. Thus I listened to my iPod and tried to relax. Once we were back in the city we had a rough time getting home. The trip from Badung to Jakarta only took 3 hours, but the trip to our house while in Jakarta took 2.5 hours. I was so frustrated and homesick by the time we got home, but I forced myself to shower and head to bed without allowing myself to cry.

The next morning I woke up and headed to car free morning. They shut down a few of the main roads to all cars, and a lot of people gather to run and bike on the street. It was a nice change of pace, but even at 6:00am I was sweating like crazy. At about 8:00 we headed to get some breakfast. I couldn’t believe how early it was.

Road Trips Please!

One of my goals for this year was to write more creative blog posts. I love writing about my trips to keep my family updated, and as my own personal account of what I’m doing while I’m traveling. So I wrote the boring blog post about horse back riding, and now for the creative, more personal one.

I love road trips. I always thought there was something so American about them. Moving out west, following the American dream, that entire completely clichéd thing. Then I moved to Albania and figured I wouldn’t be riding in a car for a long time, and as it turns out the best, quickest, cheapest way to travel was by car. When I moved here I for sure thought that the road trips were done, but I just took a road trip to another big city, with a new group of friends. I love road trips! So here is a blog all about road trips.

American road trips: I never got to do my great American cross country road trip, but I plan on doing it some day. I love hearing stories about people who traveled out to California, camping along the way, and to be honest it is a dream I have. My American road trips have been incredible in their own way. Of course there was the road trip to Canada freshman year. 8 kick ass college students pilled into two vans with the sole purpose of being somewhere we could legally drink. I will never ever forget that great trip of coloring pictures and singing songs, crossing the boarder, experiencing 5 pin bowling, enjoying an Irish pub on St. Patricks day, and walking around playing Zumie Zumie. 

breakfast stop!

But, the majority of the road trips in America were with my brother and his friends. I’m not talking about long road trips, I’m talking about our 3 hour trips home or our 5 hour trips up north to hike and camp. The best part of these road trips? Coffee, beer, and music. Freshman year Daryn would always make a new mix for our trip home. I was always homesick and I’d spend Fridays in class and work looking forward to hearing some new music and talking about life with my brother. Sophomore year I went home less as my friends were all gone and I grew insanely bored. I realized the weirdness of my hometown and the music switched to Randy Newman and the Thank God I’m a Country Boy mixes. Junior year we got the Roses, and it changed everything. Then I turned 21 and the road trips home got even better, as I knew that what was to come was many cheap beers and many cheap whiskeys, followed by midnight bloodies. When I went to visit  America in June we spent so much time on the road and I loved it, though I wish I would have been able to drive without falling asleep. My poor brother must have driven at least 24 hours in one week.

typical weekend at home: dancing with a whiskey in my hand against Mike's girlfriend.

Balkans road trips: Holy shit! Could road trips get any better? These ones were all about the views and random findings along the way. I have to say I was a little nervous about all of the mountain driving, but Scott and Robert are kick ass drivers. Though I almost died about 10 times by nearly flying off the edge of the earth, the views were perfectly beautiful, and never have I felt more at peace with the world then when I was sitting, drinking a beer, espresso, and eating a pomegranate freshly picked off a tree overlooking the mountains. Or when I was listening to Robert’s blasting music while slipping through the snowy Balkan Alps, or when I was attempting to find a city called Vishni by asking with facial features and hand gestures. Nothing can beat these experiences.

Typical Albanian road side 10:00am stop.

and again.

Oh you know...just another unplanned stop with a gorgeous view.

Indonesian road trips: I was crammed into a van with 6 other people and a hired driver. We made a few stops at crazy road-side areas with far too many fast food restaurants and coffee shops. I drank a total of 3 super sweet sugary coffees (yuck!) and got punch drunk crazy from not sleeping much the night before, and having too much sugar. I attempted to cuddle with Angie to make a comfy bed and we failed miserably. We had random discussions about blood lines, and sports. I didn’t drink a single beer the whole day, but wanted one on more than one occasion. The trip from the outskirts of the city to my house took the same amount of time as the trip from one city to Jakarta, and I ended up finally homesick beyond belief. I’m not sure how I’m going to get along with Indonesian road trips yet.

way to CITED for the day.

This blog post did not go where I intended for it to go at all. It was meant to be about the great music I listened to on this last road trip. Whoops! That’s creative writing for you. Looks like I’ll just have to write another one. The moral of the story: I love road trips! And the Balkans way gorgeous. Seriously!