Sulawesi part 3 of 3: Northern Sulawesi

I waited to long to write about this, so I'll be brief.

Northern Sulawesi was our favorite part, possibly because our guide was awesome, but also because it was a nice balance of culture, hiking, and relaxing, as opposed to a crazy amount of culture, followed by way too much hiking, ect.

Our guide/driver was waiting for us when we arrived and drove us the 9 hours to Gorontalo, a city nestled near 3 volcanos. The drive was long, however he offered us many options of stopping and was very intent on getting us some fruit when we informed him we loved pisang susu. We stopped by the sea for a lunch of fish and rice, which I was absolutely sick of, but it still tasted pretty delicious at this point since we hadn't had a real meal in about 24 hours.

We arrived at our hotel, which was the most beautiful we had stayed in. I wanted to spend my time just sitting and reading because there were beautiful plants all around and you could look out over the volcanos in the distance. The restaurant wasn't half bad either and they had more choices than just fish and rice. We settled in for a good night of sleep post overnight ferry.

The following morning we woke up for our tour around Gorontalo. We started the morning with a short hike to and around a semi active volcano, Mahawu. Then Stefaan (our guide) took us to the local market to show us different Indonesian items for sale, including cooked cat, dogs, rats, and bats. The dogs were simply too much for me to handle. After purchasing some pineapple, we went to the nearby lake and ate fresh fish for lunch, as well as savoring some new juices (for my parents.) They loved the soursap  juice, but weren't quite as sure about the jackfruit.

After this we were taken to the "hill of peace." It was created after the turmoil in Central Sulawesi subsided to say that now Sulawesi was accepting of all religions. There are 6 different places of worship represented, and there is also a hot springs coming out from underneath.

After this it began to rain, so we were escorted home for dinner and some relaxation. The following morning we headed to Manado and then took a short boat ride to Bunaken Island.

The Island was nice, but once again left me wondering how people can spend more than a day or two on a beach. Apparently there was excellent snorkeling and diving, but they took us to the best snorkeling spot and I didn't think it was that interesting. At least not as excellent as Flores. We searched far and wide for chocolate, but could find none. My mother did managed to find several sarongs to purchase and we got to have some excellent pork while we were there. We also founda  starfish family.

After one day we left on a boat, took a car to the airport, and we shortly home after our 3 hour flight and 3 hour cab ride.

Merry-Go-Round Broke Down

The last 6 weeks of my life have been tough. And I just can't seem to shake the feeling that I have not been myself recently. I seem to have reverted back to 20 year old, unconfident, moody version of myself. I don't want her back. I vanished her to my past when I started my life over in Albania, and I'm at the point where I will go to any means to keep her there.

After hating traveling this summer, merry-go-round broke down. Like I said, I started hating my life and myself. If you care to believe it I even told Matt I might go permanently back to America next year. Becky tried to convince me to do so, saying I could just move my ass in with her and her parents in Milwaukee until I got back on my feet. I'm seriously giggling at this thought now, though for a short moment I stopped to consider it.

In Albania, I would get back from vacation and be extremely homesick for about a week. I just wanted the comfort of my bed, and western food. Then I'd get back into my normal routine. I'd start planning my next awesome adventure, I'd blog, and I'd throw myself into some life advancing goal. My homesickness made me a better person.

Here I get back from a shitty vacation where I hated more than I enjoyed and I try to get it up for the next vacation, but I just can't swing the homesickness. I cry way too much, I eat like shit, I watch tv every night, I don't sleep, and I have nightmares about never feeling like I belong anywhere again.

I've been reading old blog posts to attempt to convince myself that this is normal, and that I've gotten through it before, but this just makes me miss "home" more. I re-read my blog post about the things that scared me the most going into this life experience, and I realize that they are all fears about leaving. I had no idea that returning could be the scarier end of the bargain.

I imagine myself sometime in the distant future living a permanent life, with permanent friends, and a permanent home and that seems just as freaky as starting a new life every year. So I write, and I cry, and I drink a whiskey, because though it isn't comforting, it is all I know how to do.

I go back and back. I can find happiness here....somehow.

“Faith is the ability to find beauty in all circumstance. Will is the ability to follow faith where it leads each individual and make something out of the randomness.” -Daryn Christenson

Malaysia

So instead of writing a post that explains that crap that was this trip, i.e. ear infections while diving, sitting around bored out of my mind, food poisoning, UTI, hangovers, feeling like crap about myself, and stupid ferry rules, I decided to try and be positive. So here are my top ten favorite moments of Malaysia. 

10. Monkey Bay, which had no monkeys, but some nice rocks. 

9. Completing the first part of my dive course. I have now been checked off on about half of the tasks. I can breath underwater! I can recover my regulator! I can buddy breathe! I was so angry about getting an ear infection, but I cannot wait to find a time and place to complete my course.

8. Sink Laundry. So I have heard horror stories of people getting laundry done in random places, so I opt to do my own laundry in the sick. I did a small batch and hung it out to dry. The next day we were at the dive center (on a whole different part of the island) when a huge wind storm came in. I got back to notice that our underwear and socks were all over the garden below our bungalow. I picked it up and folded all of Matts stuff. His reaction was completely adorable.

7. Drinking a bottle of wine on the hostel rooftop terrace. Matt had food poisoning, it was our last night in Malaysia and we had bought a $7 bottle of wine to split. Matt couldn't drink any of it, so i headed up to the roof and hung out with two guys from Canada. It was nice to look out over the city. Though i probably should have considered the fact that i was already 5 pints and a mojito in when I started. I did in fact hurl in the planetarium bathroom the next morning. I forgot how strong wine was. The good news is that now I'm turned off by the thought of good beer or delicious wine.

6. My kick ass injury. So in order to eat anything other than processed beef burgers and chicken burgers we had to walk to a different village of the island. To get there involved a 15 minutes jungle hike. To get back to our hotel involved a 15 minute jungle walk in the dark. On the last night Matt had forgotten his torch so we were sharing mine and I didn't see a root, tripped over it and got a nice scrape on my knee. It'll turn into an awesome scar I'm sure.

5. The random reminders of home. Skittles! Twix! Vanilla coke! Real Burgers! It's all these little things that you find randomly, that make for small victories

4. Taps. I got good beer peeps!!!

3. Chilling with drinks and getting completely nostalgic because of the music. It is amazing how music can transport you to anywhere inside of your brain. 

2. Realizing that I completely suck at traveling, don't want to do it anymore, and want to go home. So the day Matt finished his dive course, I sat bored out of my mind and started thinking about how awful the last month of my life had been. That night I had a complete mental breakdown, told Matt that maybe I needed to go home permanently sooner rather than later. He said if that was what I needed then I should do it. It was one of those moments where someone tells you that you should do what you want to do and then you realize that it is not at all what you want to do. 

1. Exploring Kuala Lumpur solo. I had the morning to myself and asked for direction to the bird park. The lady at the hostel desk said it was very far to walk, but google maps said it was only 30 minutes. I realized I wouldn't have time to explore the bird park, but I just decided to walk that way anyway. I found some cool buildings and cool artwork and came across a museum and a butterfly park along the way. It was a good reminder that when flying solo I can become the independent woman I need to be. It also confirmed what I had previous realized in number 2. I don't want to go back to America I just need a city to explore. Let me rephrase. I need a city that is interesting enough to explore via footpaths, and where you can find interesting things. It made me excited that I only have a year left on this contract and then I can go somewhere new. Preferably somewhere with sidewalks and public transport. 

So the point of this blog post is that it was an interesting trip, and that I'm feeling very defeated as far as traveling and living abroad right now. But a few weeks of some routine and I think I'll be back to a more confident me.