On a summer away from home

I keep mentioning summer. Matt keeps asking when that is. June, July, and August. Wonderful, marvelous months, free of kids, best spent relaxing outside among the sand and grass, hopefully with some excellent food, drinks, and music.

Last summer I left a home, visited a home, and created a new one. All in 3 short months.

This summer I do not get to visit my beautiful Minnesota. I do not get to experience the smell of the charcoal grill and the mouthwatering beer and food that go with it. I do not get to dance until my legs hurt at an outdoor bluegrass jam. I don't get to spend hours in my brother's car to get to all the shows we have on our schedule. I do not get to breathe that fresh breath of Wisconsin cow shit air, or taste any delicious cheese. I do not get to embrace my niece and nephew and spend my evenings reading them bedtime stories and my days chasing them around, nor do I get to feel the heartbreak and sting of tears when I say goodbye to them.

I'm trading this basket of emotions in for something else: 4 weeks of exploring the world through my own eyes. A week on a beach/exploring a national park in southern Java. 2 weeks of overland tour in Sulawesi with my parents, trying to show them why I love this crazy life. And to top it off a week in Malaysia, exploring the capital, getting my divers certificate, and if all goes according to plan falling more in love with my boyfriend and the life we are creating together.

A few days ago I was skyping with my niece and nephew. It had been awhile (far too long) and I was amazed by my nephews verbal skills. I could understand him! My niece thanked me for the pictures I'm sending her (thanks Mimi for the relay) and then my nephew said something that broke my heart to pieces. He said "I want to hug aunt TT." The same night, his following morning I skyped again and he said "I love TT." What a little nugget!

Some days I feel very selfish about the life I have chosen to live. My relationships are changing, i'm losing friends, I don't get to see my family as often as I should. Some days I feel lucky to have this opportunity.  My relationships are changing, I am making new friends and new family. Some days I smile and some days I cry. The most I can do it try to see the best in each experience.

I'm trading in a lot. But I'm gaining a whole lot too. Summer holiday starts in 9 short days!