My Dragon

Dragons are majestic creatures from my past, but somehow I’m becoming more reconnected with them the more I stay here. Sophomore year of college a dragon was a hot girl or a handsome man with a killer set of abs. At least that is what I thought at first. We’d be out at a party and my brother would proclaim that he was just chasing his dragon, as he looked at a girl. As time went on I realized that a dragon was something you sought after, in an attempt to catch it or trap it in some way. You chased your dragon for a lifetime, without ever catching it. The life of the chase is the chase of a lifetime. I chased mine. For 3 years I chased, and tried to pull away, and chased some more. 18 months ago I called it quits on ever catching my dragon. I moved forward, I moved on, I moved to another country.

I look up the definition of dragon online, and number 2 peaks my interest. A fierce and intimidating person, especially a woman. Minus the female part my dragon matches the definition.

I recently started watching Game of Thrones, and not to be a nerd or anything, but dragons are given a very different definition and purpose in that storyline. They are still sought after, the same way my dragon sophomore year was. But the dragons in this story are more powerful, more mythical and it becomes even less realistic to catch one.

So I sit here, thinking about my dragon, reviewing my chase, and all the things I did wrong, and all the things I did right. I put it behind me, and now the definition changes into one of my own. My dragon isn’t a fierce and intimidating person, it is a fierce and intimidating idea that one day I will be satisfied with the person I am. I’m my own dragon, and I’m desperately chasing myself. And until I catch myself I’ll be out here looking in the best place: pure and utter confusion in a beautiful unexplored world.

Conversation between a princess and an outlaw: 
"If I stand for fairy-tale balls and dragon bait, what do you stand for?"- Princess

"Me? I stand for uncertainty, insecurity, bad taste, fun, and things that go boom in the night."-Outlas

"Frankly, it seems to me that you've turned yourself into a stereotype."-Princess

"You may be right. I don't care. As any car freak will tell you, the old models are the most beautiful, even if they aren't the most efficient. People who sacrifice beauty for efficiency get what they deserve."- Outlaw

"Well, you may get off on being a beautiful stereotype, regardless of the social consequences, but my conscience won't allow it." 
"And I goddamn refuse to be dragon bait. I'm as capable of rescuing you as you are of rescuing me."- Princess

"I'm an outlaw, not a hero. I never intended to rescue you. We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves.” - Outlaw
― Tom Robbins, Still Life with Woodpecker