25: Another day in the life of me

The morning begins rough as I frantically complete the random tasks of the morning. I toss my sheets in the washer and put it on the 30 minute cycle, as I quickly message my mom to remind her of an “I’m abroad and no one will accept my credit cards!” issue. I get on skype and she calls the company and puts them on speaker phone. We explain the situation as I put on my make up, which is pointless given that as soon as that issue is dealt with, she mentions the one that immediately brings tears to my eyes. "Let go," I tell myself, "it is not in your control."

I arrive at school eager to push away the feeling that today should be special even though it is really just another day in the life of me. Immediately I am greeted by coffee, cake, and a starbucks card from my partner teacher. Our ritual for moments of stress and celebration. I go about checking my schedule for teaching, making my copies, prepping my reading tests for the day. My friends come in with lit candles and a balloon. Simple, and precisely all I want. The previous day my students were told that I was 24 and that tomorrow, on my birthday, I would turn 21. They come prancing in at 7:30, “Are you really 21 today miss?” I smile, so overjoyed, by this simple question. 2 girls open the door, gift in tow. They have made me a handmade pencil holder out of popsicle sticks, and cards with picture of our classroom on it. “Thank you for being our Miss!” they have written. In the corner I notice a picture of a typical event: There is a picture of me calling out names for students who may be the first to go to the toilet, only instead of my talking bubble saying “blah, blah, blah, you may go to the toilet” it says three names and the toilet is replaced with the map symbol for toilet, since we have been studying maps and symbols in IPC. My heart melts.

Our English lesson is the best. Reading groups, spelling bee prep, and finally writing. We have been working on how to show instead of telling. It is very hard for them, and we spend more of our time brainstorming than writing the actual paragraph. Todays topic: I live on a very busy street.

I have them close their eyes and imagine it. Everyone is ready to share as we brainstorm using our 5 senses. Together we write the following:

My street is speedy. There are many cars stretched on and on stuck in a traffic jam, honking their horns. People walk quickly by on their way to work. Big houses, tall buildings and warungs line the side of the road and people shuffle in and out. It smells stinky, like cigarettes, trash, chicken and diesel.

I am so insanely proud of how much better their writing is coming I want to burst. Later during IPC we discuss the hardships of being in a traveling circus and they create circus maps, showing their knowledge of the best places to put everything to help with set up and tear down.

After work I rush quickly to catch a taxi to the nearest mall and indulge in a very inexpensive massage, and some delicious cold stone ice cream. I walk through the grocery store to get items to cook up a feast. As I reach the taxi line and see the length, I give up. An ojek home is the best bet. I ask “Berapa” to make sure I won’t get taken advantage of. “Lima Puluh” he responds. I know this is far too much and barter him down a buck. I shove on the potentially lice ridden helmet and attempt to buckle it. The buckle is broken, so I leave it hanging. Hopping on the back I think to myself, “I am 25, and you only live once. If I get in a crash and die, then so be it.”

As we weave in and out of traffic, I tense up and pull my bag forward so no one can reach in and grab my wallet or phone. I see lightning and hear thunder. I hope to myself that it just holds off 10 more minutes. Eventually we make it out of the traffic part and the cool breeze catches me off guard, as I finally feel some freedom. We soon get caught up in the traffic again. I think back to my students' writing as I pass a chicken scented warung, followed by a white ginger-haired man in a silk blue suit smoking his cigarette, as he walks with pleasure faster than the cars. As we turn the corner my knee brushes the white car next to us. I look on the side of the road and see newly planted trees, and I wonder if they will still be there in 2 weeks. Will someone uproot them easily or will they stay strong and grow a thick, resilient trunk?

I am suddenly overcome with the feeling that although 24 has been the toughest year of my life, I have grown so much more than I thought possible. I have become a real teacher. I have made potential relationship and career altering choices. I have shared my own dreams and created new dreams with a human being.

Dear 24….you sucked! You changed and crushed me in the worst way. Living in this city sucked the life out of you, but it’s almost over, and 25 is here. Though I have been completely defiant about wanting to celebrate the year to come, it is time to erase my negativity, and realize that this is life. It is fleeting, and if I don’t grab some smiles now they could be gone in a few short weeks.

I breath as I arrive home, only to have the ojek driver try to get more money out of me. I slave over an amazing birthday dinner of surf and turf with steamed carrots and grilled potatoes.

I haven’t reached all my goals for 24 year old me, and that’s okay. I have realized that I’m not happy unless I’m working for something, and improving myself.

So 25, here’s to you. To the challenges you bring. To the wind and the waves. To the heartbreak and hurt. To the smile and the tears.To the beauty of meeting new people in new places. To exploration. To new jobs and new students. Here’s to slamming the door on negativity. Here’s to being selfish. And most importantly, to those moments (like when you are on the back of an ojek) that take your breath away.

How my mother, against all my defiance, became my friend

When I was little me and my mom were always close. There were a lot of special mother and daughter activities we did. She taught me to bake and cook, how to find the best deals at the shops, and would treat me, often enough, to ice cream.

When I became a teenager I really didn't want her involved. I wouldn't say I was rebellious, but I started to have my own opinions about life, and how I wanted mine to go. I shared what I needed and learned to deal with the rest on my own. When I started to make a decision about where to go to college, her opinion was the closer, less expensive campus. I wanted my freedom and independence so I opted for the further away campus. I went home often, surprisingly not because I felt obligated, but because I wanted to be there.

In college, she watched me make mistakes. A lot. Small and big. My life didn't spin out of control, but I got very lost in who I was. Sometimes I felt like it was my duty to call her and check it. I didn't enjoy it. I didn't care anymore about what was happening in the Marsh, or with the people at church, I just wanted to get back to my friends and my studies. I am so glad now that I forced myself to make those calls.

Then I moved even further away, to Albania. I promised to skype often and I stuck with my promise. Sometimes I needed her and other times it felt like an obligation, but she was always grateful for the 30 minutes here and there. Indonesia made the time difference a lot harder to keep in touch. So we had to really try. And life in Indonesia was hard. For the first time ever I feel like there is no one in the world who can quite understand all of me, because there are so many parts of me.

And then Monday morning hit, after a night of tossing and turning without any clarity of a decision. And who is the first person I want to talk to? My mom. Because somehow, against all my trials to keep her out she has managed to become my friend. No she doesn't know all the deepest darkest secrets of my past. She doesn't hear about all the silly stories and mistakes I make. But she is the one person I have always been able to count on to listen and not judge.

My advice to every mom is to admire your daughter for who she is. Allow her to make her mistakes, because they will let her grow, and don't pry. Let your relationship become what it is meant to be on its own time in its own place.

My advice to every daughter is to live life the way you want, but always listen to the advice of your mother. Regardless of the differences you have with her, chances are she has been in a similar situation, and she made it through.

As we hung up from Skype she reminds me that I'm strong. I rush to get ready for work but that sentence stick in my head through the whole day as I struggle against tears and breakdowns, words and memories, love and hurt. I am strong. I have proved it over and over, and no matter what happens I have my mom to back that strength.

Thanks mommy! I love you!

The Goldcoast

Much of our time in the Goldcoast was spent mostly hanging around, since Matt's friends lived meters from the beach. Unfortunately, we happened to be there at the worst time for the beach. First of all there were jellyfish washed up all over the actual beach. Secondly, there were blue bottles in the water, visible by eye. Lastly, there was sea lice. Yuck! So yes, I finally got into the Pacific ocean (first time ever!) but I only got in fully once, and after that it was feet only.

Surfers Paradise

Jellyfish

Our first day on the Goldcoast was New Years Eve, so as you can imagine it was spent sitting around and drinking beer as I got introduced to more and more people. We did go to a party where I drank lots of delicious IPA, and chatted to some of Matt's friends, and after a struggle to catch the train home, getting separated (and some of us...ahem not me...getting questioned by the cops) we watch the fireworks on the roof in the freezing cold rain. New Years day involved a trip to the liquor store and grocery store, and some sitting around playing Peggle.

New Years Breakfast

The day after New Years we headed out to a suburb called Nerang to visit Matt's high school friend. We went out to the bars, met some older men to drink with and talk to, ate pizza, and passed out. After having breakfast we headed to Springbrook National Park, which is deserving of it's own blog post. Post hiking we ate a Mexican dinner with Matt's uncle and headed back to Surfer's Paradise.

Sunny The Koala

The following day we went to the zoo so that I could hold a Koala! I have to say, we were highly impressed with Kurumbin Wildlife Sanctuary, as a zoo. We went online and managed to get our tickets for a discount, and then promptly used the discount to purchase a photo with the Koala named Sunny! They zoo keeper said I was probably one of the most excited people he had ever seen. This zoo felt almost purely Australian to me. They hadn't imported animals from around the world to show off to kids. They were truly interested in the protected of Australian endangered species. The other interesting thing I got to do was spoon a Kangaroo!

Add it to the list of life accomplishments

The next day Matt's friend had the day off work, so we decided to chill near Surfers. We started the day with some breakfast and then headed out for mini-golfing. This is something Matt and I tried to find in Indonesia for a long time, but with no luck, so it was nice to get to do something fun for a double date. I managed to cook up a delicious feast of tacos as a thank you on our last day there and we had burgers on the grill for dinner. I was lucky enough to get in a good game of French cricket on the beach. Many people in Australia enjoy watching cricket and I was starting to catch on a bit to the scoring and general strategy to the game towards the end of my time there. French cricket is just a basic version easily played by a group of people. I guess it's be similar to playing touch football.

The following morning we started heading toward Brisbane again, stopping for some hiking and exploring in Tamborine National Park. If you are and avid hiker I would say that Springbrook is a much better way to spend a day. The trails at Tamborine are not as long and the sights are not as beautiful. However if you are looking for a full weekend getaway go with Tamborine. There are many places to stay, and lots of little shops and cafes to explore. Probably my favourite part was Fortitude Brewery. The F-100 was delicious and after I had one I couldn't help but indulge in a flight to try them all. After the brewery we tried to find another trail to hike, but the map/ our phones had different opinions and we ended up lost, so we just headed on our merry way to Brisbane.

The only really good picture I got of Tamborine

Colour Me In

Is it normal to feel nervous about living in a first world country? I'm not sure how else to describe the way I have felt about Singapore from the start. At first I think I just didn't like the idea because it wasn't the plan. Who am I, to try to make and stick to plans. I'm a teacher, a 24 year old, and living abroad. All qualities that make plans unrealistic. If I bet a hundred bucks for every time any of my plans actually worked out I would be exactly where I am....42 grand in debt (thanks American education system!)

It probably sounds quite odd to anyone who hasn't at least travelled to a 3rd country, but in some strange way I am going to miss the absolute simplicity, and the absolute annoyance of it. As I tried to figure out Australian public transit with Matt I thought to myself how much easier it was to pay the same amount to just take a taxi in Indonesia. I want to feel that sense of overjoyed excitement when I find something new in the grocery store that is a taste of home. And sometimes when I get distracted by my smartphone I just wish I could go back to my Nokia that I would lose for days at a time, just because I wanted some time with my real life. And as I sit here blogging I'm wishing desperately I was back in my freezing cold apartment in Albania, curled up next to my oven, smelling an apple pie, and writing this blog on a piece of paper next to candlelight because the power just went out and I don't know how many hours it will be until it comes back on. First world was absolutely what I had in mind when I first decided to start this journey, but lets be real, I am so insanely overjoyed that I did not get what I asked for. 

Why, you might ask, would someone want to deal with such annoyances and luxuries? Not only have they made me a stronger person, but that have made me more appreciative of the world around me. I am grateful for where I come from, and the best part about these experiences is that they have taught me the importance of finding who you are. 

I am not done finding that person, and I think I'm nervous that by moving somewhere more like home, more advanced, I will lose what I have found, and quit discovering the world around me. In some way I think I'm scared of not having to try to be happy. 

But there are benefits of Singapore, and as time has gone on, and Matt has pushed the positives on me over and over again I have fallen deeply in love with the idea of living there. I want to take who I was, and who I have become and make her a masterpiece. I will have the ability to use the passions I have discovered here (learning about and experiencing culture and traveling) and combine it with my passions from home (the love of being outdoors, cooking, live music, and craft beer.)

So, with that being said...

Dear Singapore,

Watch out because I am coming for you. And I plan on being a hard working teacher, a outdoor explorer, amazing roommate and girlfriend, and a kick-ass culture seeker and promoter. So, as the song I'm currently in love with goes, "come let me love you, and colour me in."

Sincerely,

A ready and willing Tiara. 

P.S. Please grant me a job and cheap apartment

Cairns

I'll try to keep this blog short and simple. A lot of my time in Cairns was spent with family, and doing typical "I'm and ex-pat and I'm in a first world country!" things. For example shopping for cheap sports clothing, finding shoes that actually fit me, and eating delicious food.

We arrived in the late evening on a Sunday and pretty much came back to the house, had a drink, showered, and went to bed.

Our first day was spent driving around and going to malls. First we stopped into Matt's aunt Linda's house for banana cake. Cairns had a really nice outlet mall, and I found a super great bedtime/sportswear shop, that had an additional 40% off everything, and they had several shops with nice clothing. However, given that I am moving in 6 months I refuse to buy anything that isn't teacher appropriate, unless I'm absolutely in love with it. So I ended up buying very little, which is for the best. I was generally surprised how inexpensive most things were and was happy to get back to some shops like Target and K-mart! We spent our afternoon at the Esplanade, looking at the mud slabs and ducking in and out of tourist shops.

Our evening was spent at the local bowling club as the Rotary Club (Matt's mom is the head) celebrated Christmas. Bowling isn't 10 pin bowling or even 5 pin bowling, it's lawn bowling, similar to Bocce ball, as you play on teams, and aim heavy balls at a lighter target. The difference is that the balls are weighted, and curve as you throw them. It was a good time, but afterwards I came home and passed out!

Our second day was spent doing a few touristy things. Matt knew I loved being outdoors and in fresh water so we packed up and esky(cooler) and headed to the Crystal Cascades. These were very remnant of the Eau Claire Dells, from back home, as there were many small rapids/waterfalls, and you could hop from rock to rock. Matt ended up swimming down the rapids to grab our esky from the truck and brought it back to a rock in the middle of the cascades.

We lunched there, and then left for Palm Cove Beach. Matt was involved in surf life-saving as a teenager and wanted to show me the surf club and beach he used to work at. It wasn't a good idea to swim due to high rates of jellyfish this time of year, so we simply walked along the beach and stopped to have an ice cream. Then we sat and watched the waves and birds, and afterward walked along the street to look into some touristy shops. Matt explained that any profits the surf club makes go to help buy new equipment for the life-savers, so we stopped in for a drink and some chips.

On the drive home we stopped at the Henry Ross Lookout to see the whole of Cairns from up high. We arrived home with enough time for Matt to cook his famous chicken parmesan and to wait up for his sister to arrive from the airport.

The next day we spent with Matt's sister. I woke up and cooked biscuits and gravy, and then we headed out to have a look at the botanical gardens. It wasn't much to see, but I was just happy to be outside and walking around in a shaded area.

We stopped for a lunch of meat pies and stopped at a  bottle-o (liquor store) even though it was Christmas eve so that I could purchase some more IPA. The afternoon heat was fought off by drinking a few beers by the pool and getting a bit of a tan. For Christmas eve dinner we went to Dundees, a restaurant on the pier. I had a few glasses of wine and surf and turf for dinner, which is very different from my usual Christmas Eve meal. It was delicious!

Merry Christmas to me!

Christmas day was spent opening presents (in the morning, which is odd for me) and then hanging out until the family began to arrive. I put together part of my present (lego ornaments Matt designed for me after I said I wanted them)  skyped with my parents, and then tried to get a bit more involved with the family in Australia. I ate heaps of turkey and chicken and veggies at lunch, but just couldn't get myself to eat seafood on Christmas day. I managed to eat one prawn. After lunch we all hopped in the pool to play with the kids. Then we ate desert, built more lego and went for another swim at the children's insisting. We finished of the night by watching Lampoons Family Christmas.

We spent the 26th and 27th at the Tablelands (see previous blog post.) On the 28th we did more shopping and went to The Pier bar for a few drinks. On the 29th we went skydiving! Such an incredible experience. I had wanted to do it for a long time, and Matt's mom got a buy one jump-get one jump- deal through her business. The freakiest part was honestly getting strapped to my diver. Once it was my turn to go I was ready. The free falling was overwhelming and I felt like my breath was being whipped out of me, but once Charlie (my tandem diver) pulled the chord and let me steer us around I really loved the free feeling of flying. If you want to go skydiving at all, just do it. You will not regret it.

On the 30th we left to go to Brisbane and the Gold Coast!

The Tablelands

On boxing day we packed up the truck with some gear and headed to the Tablelands for a day of exploring and a night of camping.

The first stop was Lake Eacham, which was quite crowded. We took a little walk around the crater lake, and read lots of posters with information about the wildlife and how the lake formed. At one point I was pretty sure I saw a kangaroo rat, but couldn't be sure. We did see some birds and some turtles. The next point was the Curtain Gum Tree. I was interested to read that it started as one tree and a seed was planted into the top of it and grew down. It became so heavy that the tree fell over onto another tree and then roots and vines began to grow all around it. The tree really does look like a curtain. We also stopped nearby to look a a lake that is home to a platypus family, and we might have seen the head of one, but can't be sure.

Curtain Fig Tree

Atherton was a little city near the lake we were staying at and we stopped to have a look. The majority of the shops were closed as it was boxing day, but I did manage to pick up a beach ball. I was slightly creeped out because Atherton felt a lot like a smaller version of my hometown, mostly because there seemed to be one main street with lots of little shops and bars along it.

After we wandered around the closed shops in Atherton, we headed to Lake Tinaroo and went for a swim. I have to admit I love swimming in freshwater in comparison to salt water. I hate the sticky feeling the salt leaves behind. After Matt paddled me around on his lifesaving board and I laid on my new Aussie thong floatie for a bit we got out of the water and had a beer, which was quickly followed by a walk to see the nearby dam.

Lake Tinaroo

This dam provides water sources to the greater Cairns area and creates energy for some 1600 households. The lake it creates also isn't a bad place for boats to come and fish, people to participate in water sports, or just to relax.

The dam and lake

Matt showed me where the waterline used to be and where we ended up camping was originally an island. Let's just say wet season has been quite dry this year. We cooked up a delicious dinner of sausages and leftover Christmas veggies, and had another beer or two. After dinner we got to work setting up our room for the night which was a mattress in the back of the truck and a sleeping bag, as well as a small tarp cover. We were able to watch all the other cars leave and then looked at the stars for a bit before passing out. I woke up and had to pee in the middle of the night which made me angry until I saw the sky. It was so dark and you could see all the stars. I woke Matt up and we grabbed the chairs so we could sit and watch them for a bit before heading back to bed. The next morning we cooked up some eggs and sausages and bacon and hash browns and I indulged in my last beer before we headed out. It wouldn't be camping without a breakfast beer after all....

Look at this cutie cooking up some dinner

On the way home we stopped at a local ice cream shop, and in a city called Kuranda. This is definitely a tourist city, with many random attractions and markets. We walked around the markets for a bit and had a burger for lunch and then headed to Barron Falls. There was a short walk from the parking area and though the falls weren't flowing as much as they normally are (again, its been a dry wet season) it was still a nice way to spend our time.

There is some water....fi you look closley

We also got a short walk though the rainforest for another viewing, and we happened to be there just in time to see the train come rolling through.

This ended our lovely 2 day trip to the Tablelands. Wishing right now I could see those stars again.

Rainforest! 

Springbrook National Park

We spent our Sunday at Springbrook National Park. After spending a few too many days just sitting and hanging out (understandable given that Matt hasn't seen his friends in over a year) I was ready to do some moving and seeing. I was amazed that a mere 40 minutes from the city this beautiful place exists. I immediately wanted to move here, though I'm not sure Matt would be keen to drive the curvy roads to and from work each day. There is a little mini village in in this park and several beautiful hikes and views as well. At the entrance there was a nice little lady in an info booth who gave us some information and a map for the park for a small donation of 2 dollars(which goes to support the park. Well worth it. She informed us which tracks were closed and how much we'd be able to do for the day, in the time we had.

We began by driving to The Best of All lookout, and while the lookout was amazing what really took my breath away was the 15 minute hike from our parking spot there. I took many breaths of fresh air as I walked past some of the oldest beech trees in the world. The rocks were covered in moss and lichen and fern bolted up everywhere creating a massive sea of green no matter which way you looked.

The next stop was Goomoolahra picnicking spot. Here a little tiny creek flows into a bigger beautiful waterfall. I was amazed that little trickles could turn into something so large. Matt and I enjoyed our packed lunch, and were then prepared to hike it off.

We ended up doing the Twin Falls hike as several of the other hikes were closed due to bridge construction and heavy rain storms on New Years day. I'm so glad we ended up on this path. It was a grade 3 hike, and I was a bit concerned about the fact that I didn't have my hiking boots with me, but the trail was well maintained and other than slipping from the wetness in a few places I didn't have any issues. While on this path you cross through 9 different forest types, and while I didn't think there would be much of a different there was. It go from feeling cold and damp to being warm, sunny and dry in mere steps, and you could definitely see the different types of vegetation along the trails.

There were many spots to view waterfalls and reaching the bottom of one you are able to swim in the pool formed. I don't recommend this for the faint hearted as the water is numbingly cold. There is also and option to walk behind the waterfall, which was breathtaking. We began our assent first down (not sure why the path goes further down) and then up.

There were plenty of cute little cafes around, though many of them were closed either due to the holidays or it being a Sunday. Eventually we found and open one and treated ourselves to milkshakes. We did stop to look at the Purling Brook waterfall and could spot the construction on the suspension bridge, but by this point we were ready to go.

I had been told not to miss the Natural Bridge, and while it was quite a drive in the opposite direction I am so glad we didn't miss out on this. Here the water has flown so hard that it created a hole in the middle of the rock. It was a beautiful sight to see.

If you are looking for some easy and enjoyable hiking in the Gold Coast area this is the spot to go. There are so many different options and experiences available, and these hikes are good ones to get non nature lovers out and loving it.