Random Thoughts from Belitung Island

So the blog post from my last trip is going to be different. Very different. I'm really enjoying experimenting with my writing. I hope you are enjoying my random, unimportant thoughts. Just click play and read on.

In the Car

As I sit in a the car with a lurching stomach from yet another 3^rd world bug I laugh out of sheer happiness. I look out my window into the jungle we are driving through to get to the beach on the other side of this “small island” off Sumatra, and I think about how vast and large this world is.

I’m not one to believe in the whole “fate” thing, or the whole “predestination" thing. I believe that we make our own choices and they get us where we are. But when I think about the decisions that got me here I’m amazed at how even the small decisions can make a difference. And when I look around me I believe I am meant to be here, with these people in this moment. It is such a strange and odd feeling.

Moreover, isn’t it crazy how the choices I made broke me from a little innocent girl, and how each choice I make now is building me into the strong and secure woman I was meant to be.

Under the Stars

I’m here in a large group of 10 people. Most of them are sitting inside watching TV. Angie tried to convince them to come play some card games on our deck overlooking the ocean, but no one responded. I’m gone, out the front door. By myself I walk to the beach, 97 steps below our bungalow, unable to fathom when the next time I will get to see stars or breathe fresh air will be. I stare out at the sea and soak up every little bit of nature I’ve been given. I play with the soft sand in my hand as I look at the moonlight shining off the ocean. The waves crash up on the shore, and frogs croak in the background as I inhale the coolness of the breeze.

I think of how tiny the grains of sand are in my hand. I think of how tiny the stars are in the sky. I think of tiny I am in the universe. My finger writes random words in the sand. They are up for meditation:

Family

Nature

Minnesota

Be Here

Move Forward

Happiness

Take a Chance

Some man from the lower bungalow comes out of his hut and walks to sea line. He looks out at the sky for 2 minutes, turns around and slowly returns. No one understands.

I get my chance. I don’t take it. I am a coward.