Oh, the places you'll go!

So I've had some serious debating today about whether to go home for Christmas or stay here. Basically my original Christmas plans fell through, and I was confused about what to do with myself for 5 whole weeks. Everyone kept saying I should just go home, since I have been so homesick and unhappy lately.

While laying awake in bed last night trying my best to fall asleep at a decent hour for once, I had this realization that everyone assumes my unhappiness and homesickness are the same thing. Let's get one thing straight people. They are not the same thing. 

My homesickness comes in random waves. I crave things. Or I think to myself how nice it would be to do something. Sometimes my homesickness last 30 seconds, if it gets really bad it can last a whole day. I miss home, but this is not my reason for being unhappy with my life here at the moment.

My unhappiness is due to my lack of fulfillment. I wake up, go to work, come home, go to gym, work, and go to bed. Every weekend I sit and watch TV and maybe go out to one of 4 bars. This is not the life I want. I was okay with it when I first got here because I was meeting people, learning my way around, picking up little tid-bits of information.

The unhappiness comes in waves as well. I'll get stuck in my rut. Then I'll get out and explore, or I'll write, or I'll read. I force myself to walk and get a coffee, or message a friend to meet for a beer. Sometimes I just need one really good day of teaching, or one really good meal/drink/coffee out with friends. Something that isn't routine/related to my apartment. Then the unhappiness subsides for a few days.

The only real problem I have is when the unhappiness comes at the same time as the homesickness. So I'm working on ways to feel full. And I know that the homesickness will never really go completely away, and I'm okay with that. It will get better. I will miss things less, and I will be okay (just as I have been) with living without, though, I could go for some red vines about now. Pineapple will have to to.

So for Christmas? My parents offered to pay for half my plane ticket home. I spent all day considering this possibility, amazed at the fact that I could be home 4 weeks from now. Or.....well let's just say my selfish bone won out once again. I want to go home for a weekend, but I'm not prepared for 3 whole weeks again. It's too soon.

Jakarta-->Surabaya--> Mount Bromo-->Bali-->Lombok-->Gili Islands-->Surabaya-->Jakarta.

Plans made, nothing booked. See y'all on the flip side 'Merica (aka summer 2015.)

Also this book must be a biography about my life: