Untitled blog post #1

09/08/13

I’m not sure what I’m doing. For some reason my mind won’t think, at least most of the time. When it does think, it freaks out a little bit. It starts thinking about the past and what it took to get to this point. What it took to become a happy person, and I don’t want anything to stand in the way of that. So if you put off the inevitable for long enough it’s bound to happen. Correct? I need to make a decision.

13/08/13

So it is currently 28 degrees Celsius outside and I just walked home wearing pants and a short sleeve shirt without sweating. I think my body is adjusting. Also for some reason every time I shave my legs here I cut myself. It’s awful and I can’t figure out why. I have to start being more careful.

14/08/13

I hate to complain about losing weight, but I purchased new clothes when I was home so that I wouldn’t have to go shopping when I arrived here. I have no shorts that fit that don’t have holes in the crotch. And so after work on Saturday I get to go shopping….again. agh!

18/08/2013

Last night I sat back under a fan while watching my friends bowl. Angie came up to me and just smiled as we began to talk about the fact that 8 weeks ago we had no idea who we were going to meet when we arrived here. 8 weeks ago we had no idea who we were going to live with or what our jobs would be like. And somehow in the 6 weeks we have been here we have managed to make various incredible ex-pats and Indonesian friends. How lucky am I? This morning we are sitting in our apartment talking about how hard it is going to be to leave this place and these marvelous people. I’m 6 weeks in. 2 years from now these friends are going to mean so much more to me. Say goodbye? For real? No one said this life was easy, but no one can say it isn’t worth it.

21/08/13

Today I started really craving a few things from home. I’m still doing fantastic overall, I just had a rough day. I need a good IPA and a good chat with my brother. Or a nice walk to stone arch with my iPod.

Today was one of those days when I thought to myself that as soon as I’m done paying off my loans I’m done teaching. I hated teaching today. More so I hate how much I still have to learn about being a teacher, and I’m frustrated with how overwhelming it is. And so I  don’t sleep, and I dream of my classroom in utter chaos. My alarm rings and it is back off to work I go. I greet each child with a smile and recall my dream to them as our “classroom swimming in bubbles.” I ask them what they dreamt about and they reply with “monsters” and “super-heroes.” Their dreams and my dream collide. But which one am I? The monster or the super-hero?

23/08/13

Today was a rough day, and after school (more like after school plus 45 minutes of extra work) I had a mental breakdown in the 3rd grade classroom. I've been really frustrated with feeling completely inadequate. It was good to talk it out first with my fellow elementary teacher, and shortly after with my roommate. They both mentioned that they have felt the same way at some point in the last month or so, which made me feel much better. I feel like I'm doing absolutely nothing right, and though I try and try, I continue to fail. 2 cry sessions (finally) followed by a workout and a few beers, and while life isn't perfect it is a little bit better about myself and I'm happier who I am. I need to get back my confidence. Where did it go this week? Watch out world. Here I come, with my super duper supportive friends to back me up. 

25/08/13
When I'm finally happy with myself, and being by myself it will all come together. I have a long way to go, and a long road ahead of me. The first step is accepting right? This is who I am, and I love her. Every single bit of her imperfections and insanity. Perfectly Imperfect. Also, I've been on a serious Tom Robbins binge. For real. It is unhealthy.

“Funny how we think of romance as always involving two, when the romance of solitude can be ever so much more delicious and intense.” 
― Tom Robbins

Out with the friends

28/08/13
Hey ya'll I'm hanging in here. In fact this week has been a lot better, but also crazy. My weekly plans for term one are coming due, so I spent about 3 hours last night working on english alone and I'm not done. In two-three weeks we have parent teacher interviews which means our portfolios are due. Stress! I haven't even started. There was a bit of drama due to some serious rumors and gossip early in the week, but I've overcome them. I found out today that I will be getting 2 more students on Monday and I can't even imagine having more. The good news is that the classroom management is improving each and every day. I don't take the kid's crap anymore. Notes go home, detentions are given, and I try my best not to shout over them. Accomplishing goal #2. This weekend we went to an inter-nations event and I tried to mingle to the best of my ability. I'm working on making more friends, and I think overall I'm doing a good job on goal #5. I've read almost one whole book about Buddhism (goal #8), but I haven't managed to complete any Bahasa lessons since I got here. I'm sitting in on Bahasa lessons during school and I've managed to learn a few words by looking at signs, listening to directions, and reading menus, so improving on goal #1. I started insanity last week and I can already see vast improvements. I'm setting goals, I'm eating healthier and I've lost weight. Goal # 7, check. I've tried some indonesian food, I've worn the clothes, I've learned a bit of history, so success on goal #4. Woohooo! The other 4 goals are being put on hold. But, I'm progressing, I'm improving as a person, and most importantly I think I'm the happiest I've ever been.

My Dragon

Dragons are majestic creatures from my past, but somehow I’m becoming more reconnected with them the more I stay here. Sophomore year of college a dragon was a hot girl or a handsome man with a killer set of abs. At least that is what I thought at first. We’d be out at a party and my brother would proclaim that he was just chasing his dragon, as he looked at a girl. As time went on I realized that a dragon was something you sought after, in an attempt to catch it or trap it in some way. You chased your dragon for a lifetime, without ever catching it. The life of the chase is the chase of a lifetime. I chased mine. For 3 years I chased, and tried to pull away, and chased some more. 18 months ago I called it quits on ever catching my dragon. I moved forward, I moved on, I moved to another country.

I look up the definition of dragon online, and number 2 peaks my interest. A fierce and intimidating person, especially a woman. Minus the female part my dragon matches the definition.

I recently started watching Game of Thrones, and not to be a nerd or anything, but dragons are given a very different definition and purpose in that storyline. They are still sought after, the same way my dragon sophomore year was. But the dragons in this story are more powerful, more mythical and it becomes even less realistic to catch one.

So I sit here, thinking about my dragon, reviewing my chase, and all the things I did wrong, and all the things I did right. I put it behind me, and now the definition changes into one of my own. My dragon isn’t a fierce and intimidating person, it is a fierce and intimidating idea that one day I will be satisfied with the person I am. I’m my own dragon, and I’m desperately chasing myself. And until I catch myself I’ll be out here looking in the best place: pure and utter confusion in a beautiful unexplored world.

Conversation between a princess and an outlaw: 
"If I stand for fairy-tale balls and dragon bait, what do you stand for?"- Princess

"Me? I stand for uncertainty, insecurity, bad taste, fun, and things that go boom in the night."-Outlas

"Frankly, it seems to me that you've turned yourself into a stereotype."-Princess

"You may be right. I don't care. As any car freak will tell you, the old models are the most beautiful, even if they aren't the most efficient. People who sacrifice beauty for efficiency get what they deserve."- Outlaw

"Well, you may get off on being a beautiful stereotype, regardless of the social consequences, but my conscience won't allow it." 
"And I goddamn refuse to be dragon bait. I'm as capable of rescuing you as you are of rescuing me."- Princess

"I'm an outlaw, not a hero. I never intended to rescue you. We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves.” - Outlaw
― Tom Robbins, Still Life with Woodpecker

Taman Mini Indonesia

I have had a whole week off from work and only managed to get out of this city for one day. Not okay. One day me and Angie managed to get to a mall to purchase the rest of the items we needed for our apartment, which felt good to finally do. Saturday night we went out to a bar in Kemung. The night was clearly successful as we spent all day sunday lying on the floor of our living room. Sunday evening we met up with some co-workers and headed to dinner at a nearby French restaurant which was fantastic.

Our night out. 

On monday I woke up with the intention of leaving the apartment. I could not stand the idea of spending another day sitting on the couch watching TV. So Angie and I did some research and decided to head to Taman Mini. Basically it is a museum with smaller museums and small versions of the most famous building in Indonesia. We managed to make it to Bali, Jogjakarta, East Java, Papua, and Sulawesi all in one day!

The life of the chase is the chase of a lifetime. 

We spent the first portion of the day finding our way around and exploring the Asmat museum. The Museum was filled with interested information and artifacts about the Asmat people, and Angie and I were lucky enough to be able to try on some of the national dress, and to play a few of the national drums. How cool!

Asmat dress and drums!

We grabbed a quick lunch, which was the worst food I've had since I got here, but it filled me up and I was ready to head off and find the Komodos. Along the way to the Komodo museum we stopped at several of the various famous buildings from around Indonesia. I got to sit in a Buddhist temple, and it reminded me that one of my goals for being here was to research Buddhism more, so I'm going to get started on that goal soon.

Yep. I could get used to this...

Komodo museum was the best part of the day by far. Before entering the area to touch the Komodo we were asked if we were on our period. Apparently the blood is a trigger or something. We all managed to touch the dragon, though some of us were more nervous than others.

EEEEEEEKKK!

Afterwards we went to look at the snakes and I was able to hold an albino python and a Burmese python. The Burmese was so heavy I could hardly hold him up.

Albino Python

Once we finished at the museum we were wiped and ready to head home. I basically sweat out a while liter of water during the day.

Burmese Python

Tidung: The Love Bridge

Reflecting on the future of our life together. 

We were lucky enough to be introduced to a super awesome tour guide during our first week here, and so far he has not failed to disappoint. Our first trip out of the city was a no brainer: The Thousand Islands. Morgan wasn't able to get us a place to stay on several of the nicer islands, but we figured we could start with the worse and work our way up. The trip was a fantastic experience and the island of Tidung wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I think I spent about $40 for all my food, lodging, snorkel gear, transport, and beer. In fact, I spent the most amount of money on beer. The water was fairly clear, the beaches were mostly clean, and I was able to make some new friends and get to know the current ones a lot better.

hanging out on the boat

Leaving the apartment at 5:00am we figured we'd catch an early boat, but unfortunately we got stuck waiting for a few more of Morgan's friends to get their act together. This is why Angie and I make such a great partnership: we are both go getters. We like to be on time, and we like to move. Waiting is not our strong point. Eventually we made it to the fish market, and thanks to the limited traffic we didn't have to wade through the fishy dirty waters, but were able to get a cab almost straight to the boat. We hopped on board with all 10 people and waited for the boat to fill up. You literally just sit on the ground, surrounded by a hundred other people. We passed the time playing cards, singing, and at one point reenacting the scene from titanic.

Titanic!

Once we arrived and walked to our lodging we were ready for some lunch and to jump in the water. The "food court" as we called it had about 4 options and they were all different kinds of noodles. I quickly signed up for the fried noodles with egg and a coconut, figuring the coconut water would help prepare me for my day/night of drinking ahead of me. Post lunch we were even warmer, so we headed to the love bridge to jump in. Rumor has it that if you jump off the love bridge with a guy and your aren't dating you will leave the island in a relationship. If you go with a boyfriend and jump off the bridge with him you will break up. I jumped off with a total of 3 boys and 1 girl and somehow ended up leaving in a domestic partnership with the girl. Yes, that's right folks! I officially asked Angie to be in a domestic partnership with me and she said yes :)

Coconut!

When I jumped off I was surprised at the warmth of the water. It didn't seem to cool me off at all, and so I wanted to swim in deep water. We took a short walk to find a clean beach and attempt to swim. We waded in the water, and at one point Tina touched a live plant, which very quickly buried itself in the sand. It was so cool!!! In order to get to the deep water we had to walk all the way out on top of dead coral to a pile of rocks and then head into the open ocean. Once we got in it felt so nice, and I got to see several striped colored fish as well as feel some very teeny tiny jellyfish sting me. It felt like a light electric shock, but for awhile I was freaking out and Dustin and Morgan had to calm me down.

Our beach

We headed back to the hut to grab our scuba gear and I was smart enough to grab my vibrams for the next walk on the hard rocks and coral. Lunch was necessary, so we stopped for a few beers before heading out into the open water. It is amazing what a light weight I've become, and though Dustin tried with all his might to get me standing in my flippers and teach me a few lesson about my goggles I couldn't handle the waves. I gave up after like 5 minutes, put my vibrams back on and snorkeled minus the flippers. All the coral was pretty dead, but I did manage to see some fish and to work on my "breathing using my mouth only" skills. I have to get better for the future. I finished some more lunch, meaning I had another beer and then I headed back to shower off and get ready for dinner.

Our Accomodation

After walking all over the island we decided on a place, which none of us ended up enjoying but we made it work. We sat around drinking beers, and telling each other riddles. Eventually it started pouring rain, so we bolted back to the hut, and once we arrived we noticed it was raining in, and our mats were getting all wet. We used our towels to try and fix the window so no more rain would come in and set up a game of cards on the floor. After the rain stopped Flame and Anam managed to get a fire started and we stood around it drinking up Dustin's vodka. I also managed to wade in the water in the moonlight with Flame, which is the only time the water felt cool enough.  At one point me and Dustin were forced to talk some guys down from a fight, which according to those listening in the hut we did a very good job at. At this point in the night I mentioned to everyone that it was best to cut our losses and head to bed.

Campfire on the beach!

I slept for an hour or two and we woke up to get coffee and more noodles for breakfast before packing up to head on the boat back. It was a windy morning, and luckily Tina had some motion sickness medicine which I took so I was able to take a short nap on the journey home. We chowed down on some A&W before heading officially home for an afternoon of watching TV and an early night to bed. All in all it was a fantastic first trip out of the city.

1 month anniversary!

I have been here for a whole month! My how time flies when you are working 12 hours a day and in the honeymoon phase of your living abroad experience. I'm still waiting to hate this city. I'm finding it hard to do after my last experience, and, thanks to my great friends.

This week has, by far, been the most rough. On Monday I woke up to chills, and an upset tummy. I finally got the travelers sickness. The chills have gone, the upset tummy comes and goes. I remembered that in Albania the way I finally ended up getting rid of the tummy problems was a night of beer and cheese, so I attempted the same thing here, except that I can't even stand the taste of any of the cheese. I think I'd rather be hurling for 2 years straight than go on a cheese binge here. Yep. That bad.

Overall the week was quite busy, and being sick on Monday threw off my normal time management and planning skills. On Wednesday morning we had our entry point for this terms IPC (Social studies/science) unit, called Sensational! Entry points are basically our chance to show off as teachers and a way to get the students excited and interested in the topic we are learning. I was told the entry point went very well, but I feel I could have prepared better if I wasn't so tired and sick. It felt chaotic to me, but the kids really enjoyed exploring their 5 senses at the 5 senses stations. Wednesday evening I debated going to the gym, but ended up staying in and reading a book while listening to Willy Tea, which means I made it to the gym zero times this week. On Thursday evening we had our parent info night, which was supposed to be from 6:00-7:30, but I ended up staying until 8:15 talking to parents. Eventually the principal had to cut me off and turn the lights off in my room so I would leave and go home to bed.

Friday was a day I tested my flexibility of every single count, but I made it through it, and managed to get home by 4:15ish. The ex-pat teachers had been invited to the Principals house for mexican food, and after this I had suggested karaoke to which everyone was in agreement with. We snuck in a few beers, sang the night away and headed home decently early.

Saturday was a shopping day...again.  Angie and I had great luck! I was not looking forward to it because I had to go jean shopping, which is my least favorite kind of shopping. I somehow managed to lose 5 kilos since I got here and was swimming in my jeans the previous night. I was successful in finding jeans, a pair of kakis, a dress, sunglasses and a cute tank top all for the very low price of around 40 USD. I'd call that a success.

We spent our Saturday in Kemang at Morgan's favorite bar, which I enjoyed as well. It was outdoor, but very enjoyable. I drank more than I have drank since I've been here, and yet I woke up the next morning feeling fine. Sunday we went grocery shopping. We were told to stock up on food because during the holiday the shopping centers sometimes close up. Carrying those bags back was our workout for the day and we spent the morning cleaning the apartment and "watching tv." I put it in quotes because our tv still doesn't work. We basically listen to movies and tv shows we have already seen. A few of the teachers came over for pancakes in the afternoon (it has become a sunday tradition) and Angie and I ended the evening by beginning research for our holiday in October. No decisions made, because I'm positive we can do it for cheaper than these all inclusive tours.

I'm still debating if my "drink a lot of beer to make my tummy better" theory worked. The stomach is still in shambles, but for far different reasons than a travel bug. I hate being a woman. Two days of work and then it is a holiday!! I plan to do a bit of traveling, but we have been told it is better to just stay in Jakarta during this time because everyone is traveling and thus everything is very expensive or closed down. I'm looking forward to relaxing a bit.

Jakarta rocks my socks off!

Reasons why Jakarta rocks my socks off in comparison to Albania

If you are expecting a post about the incredible beer and amazing live music you are kidding yourself. Minneapolis has everywhere beat as far as my eyes can see. I asked the music teacher at our school about good live music. He asked me to clarify the kind. Bluegrass doesn't exist here. Jazz? Come to my house he says. He nearly fainted when he found out I played saxophone and didn't bring it with me. He wanted a jam buddy. Beer? One word. Pilsner. There is more, but nothing good enough to spend the amount they are asking for it. So onto the reason I'm writing this post. Just a few of the reasons why Jakarta kicks Albania's ass.

1. I have someone to live with and she rocks! I did not enjoy living on my own in Albania. At all. It has taken a bit of adjusting, but overall me and Angie get along great and I'm very happy to not have so much time alone.

2. The support my school offers me. My partner teacher rocks, and all the other teachers are so willing to throw in an extra set of hands whenever they can. I have been amazed by the resources and help I have had, and will continue to receive. That being said there are also some things about it that annoy me, but not enough to outweigh the pluses.
3. The food. I'm so sick of rice! But I've been doing really well at making salads and pasta with lots of veggies. Also, I paid about $20 for a blender and the fruit smoothies I've been making are better than any I've ever had. There are choices around every corner. From burgers and fries to Indian food and curries. Papaya, mangoes, kiwi, and other random fruits. Every time I go to the market there is something new I want to try. Also there are some basic comforts from home, such as A&W. Now if I just had an oven, and some cheddar....
4. Kindness. I was told Albania was the most hospitable country in the world. Pure lies. Anyone who visits the two countries and compares will tell you that Indonesia far out does Albania. At least in day to day circumstances. This is not to say that Albanians are rude, but you can't help but smile at the hospitality. Everyone says hello, and for the most part it is in a kind, uncreepy way.
5. The gym in my building. Thank god for a way to work out my frustration in a healthy way each night. I've lost 5 kilos, which I desperately needed to do. I used to go home and drink whiskey and while I miss the whiskey, this way is probably much more healthy.
6. There are things to do in the city. I mean things to do other than walking around and drinking beer and coffee all day long. How strange it is to be able to take a cab 30 minutes away to see a cool sight or visit a nice park. I don't know where to begin on my holiday travel plans, but every time I talk to anyone they are mentioning somewhere else I want to go.

So that is just a few of the many reasons why my life here rocks.